At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
