she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
