He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
