We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Ladies don't puke and tell
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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