Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
