Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Randomize
