I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
COCAINE IS GR8
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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