Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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