He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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