I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
