I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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