We're facebook friends in real life
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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