come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
