You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Someone shattered a urinal.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
