fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I'm too high and old for this...
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
