Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
where are my eyebrows?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
