you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
