508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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