Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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