also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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