She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
