Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
