Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
