what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
