Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
