i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Enjoy the penises
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
