Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
