Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
