I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
vagina is talking i cant
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Randomize
