to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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