Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
