Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
