all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
