shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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