I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
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