Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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