i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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