Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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