glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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