i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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