I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
are you so shy because you have an std?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
smell my finger.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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