Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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