glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Randomize
