How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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