Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
