i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
