she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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