is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
