I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
