Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
