Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize