if i can run in heels then i can drive
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
