chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
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