I hope my margaritas pass through security.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
