Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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