strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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