Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
