my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
