cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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